Facing our inner darkness, and embracing it together with the light; how to always persist, rebel, defy and strive to be better than we were the moment prior

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There is only ever one limiter that keeps the mind and individual from growing: fear. That is it. Fear is the only thing through which we keep ourselves from growing in conscience and consciousness. If one is to overcome a thing, one is to first know and comprehend it; and, of course, all the more, and more and more. So, what is fear? Ultimately, fear is a state of conscience whereby one has forgotten one’s self, or some aspect of one’s self. That is all that fear is, at its core. It can take many forms, yes, but all of that amounts merely to fluff; poignant but frail smoke and mirrors that the ego conjures up in an attempt to cloud the mind and manifested individual.

Well, actually, seeing as how I and we are all and always free and freedom, imagination, will and intent… infinity, unlimitedness and veyond… among other things… we can see that everything that has to do with “limitation” is a delusion, and everything to do with “form” is ultimately an illusion.

An illusion is everything that has “form”, and as such is a cherry picked potentiality from ourselves as infinite and unlimited consciousness, when I and we decide to have a roleplay experience with ourselves and between different aspects of ourselves. Life and death, for example, are illusions. That is not to say they are irrelevant. If they were and if I and we considered them as such, we wouldn’t be here to experience them. The point is to experience our lives and forms, while at the same time being aware of ourselves both in-form and veyond-form.

What is a delusion, though? You see, delusion is when the manifested forms (for example, our incarnate characters in this case) forget themselves as infinite consciousness, and derive “illusions within illusions” through which they maintain a state of forgetfulness of self.

For example:

“I am infinite and unlimited freedom, spirit and consciousness, manifesting myself (in this case) as George Rieth Oraand (and infinities of other versions of myself in other lives and lifetimes, as well as whatever else), because I want to have this roleplay experience within the realms of form.”

That is a genuine acknowledgement of self and selfhood. In this case “George” is a self-aware illusion, the awareness of which has risen above veil of illusion, and has therefore become a genuine living being, whose manifested awareness is simultaneously both in-form and veyond-form. This doesn’t necessarily mean that “George” is now omniscient or all-wise on a personal level (unless that’s the choice of what I want to experience, which I have at specific key moments in this and other life times, and I will again), but rather that while “George” is infinitely aware, he’s not yet always infinitely discerning, as a person. There is, of course, always room for improvement and evolution. In a funny sense, it’s kind of like a character in a novel realizing they’re the writer of the novel, as well as the novel itself and much, much more, and as such is aware of stuff veyond the novel’s omni-verse and reality, but at various points in their life, they still experience the in-story confusions, hardships and pains, as well as the pleasures, happiness and joy that come with outgrowing those things and evolving as individuals and as consciousness.

So, in other words, it is a harmony of blending the conscience of ourselves as the writers, with the conscience of ourselves as the in-story characters, and once we do that, the character realizes that there was no separation to begin with… the writer is the story, and the story is the writer… the artist is the art, and the art is the artist… the dream is the dreamer and the dreamer is the dream.

All illusions and delusions are already aspects of ourselves as infinite consciousness; had they no purpose, they would not exist. The purpose of all hardships and limitations is to remind ourselves to become more rebellious, conscious, fearless, intuitive, intelligent, soulful, spiritual, loving, discerning, proud and wise, etcetera.

So, let’s dive into what a delusion actually is. A delusion is an illusion that is not only unaware of itself, but also addicted to its ignorance and state of forgetfulness. Fear, for example, is one of the most retarded of illusions, verging on the edge of being a delusion itself, but not quite, or at least not completely a delusion. However, cowardice is a delusion. Fear is one type of retardation, but cowardice is just a complete and utter cuckery of a piece of shit.

What’s one of the worst forms of cowardice? Addiction. Cowardice is letting yourself influenced by your fears. Addiction is letting yourself influenced by your vices, insecurities, fears and ego-driven desires, impulses or compulsions.

Having a bad habit, realizing it as such and doing something to overcome it or compensate for it in some way, shape or form, is one thing. However, identifying with that shitty habit, thought or emotional pattern, compulsion or behaviour, to the point of being so scared shitless of doing anything else, that you would mutilate yourself without discernment (to be definitively distinguished from consciously choosing to endure all pain and hardship, in doing what is right)– even worse than blind self-mutilation, if you do a total inversion and actually defend your own retardation and misery… that’s just plain dumb, pathetic and idiotic. A stupidity beyond which anyone can rise, if they so choose.

All obstacles are meant to be surpassed. That is their very purpose. They are experiences that we’ve created and put in our path, so that we learn from them and rise above, more conscious and defiant, prouder and wise, more and more and more discerning, creative, intuitive, intelligent, spiritual and conscious, etcetera. In other words, more and more of who I and we always and already are: freedom, liberty, defiance, spirit, consciousness, etcetera.

Which aspect of the individual mind is most susceptible to addition? The ego. The ego is like a façade one wears on stage – a persona. It is an interface between ourselves as soul and spirit, individuals and characters, and our in-world “forms” (i.e. the ethereal, etheric, energetic, “physical” or any other types of “bodies” or “costumes”, so to speak). The persona or person lays between the individual self and the bodies used as vehicles. In its genuine form, the persona or ego is meant to be a reflection of our individual selves. As we grow, so too does it, because is a manifestational aspect of who we are. The more harmonious the persona, the more it expresses the good aspects of ourselves as consciousness: creativity, love, judgement, rebellion, courage, honesty, defiance, wisdom and all this beautiful, beautiful stuff, are all natural to the conscious, living being.

When, for whatever reason (one of the prime and infinite reasons always being choice, regardless of how good or bad the experience itself is), the persona forgets itself, the disharmonious individual often develops a split personality, in an attempt to replace a faulty persona with one that more accurately reflects one’s self.

However, there is a catch. Since the persona is meant to reflect one’s being and essence, any attempt to discard any of our personas or ego-aspects, besides being an ignorant thing to do, (and as such) it just fractures the individual and makes one even more unaware of one’s self.

The self-aware, living being embraces all aspect of the self, in-form and veyond form, while choosing to express good over evil, right over wrong, wisdom over ignorance, courage over fear, honesty over deceit, etcetera.

To first overcome an obstacle or solve a problem, one is to be consciously and defiantly aware that such obstacle or problem exists, and then to proudly and unflinchingly take full responsibility for both having manifested the bullshit, as well as for overcoming it.

The ego, though, is cunning and can easily fool the unwise or undiscerning. However, cunning , guile or ego-driven “cleverness” of the amnesic mind pales in comparison to the genuine intelligence, intuition, spirituality, creativity, honesty, courage, love and discernment, which we manifest (among other things) through being in harmony in mind, heart, soul and spirit, both in-form and veyond form.

Be aware though, that this harmony does not mean “feeling good” or being in a state of constant happiness. The addicted and unaware ego is very keen on pushing the individual’s buttons, to manipulate and deceive, either through means of whispering pleasant lullabies to bait towards an addiction to a false state of calmness or pleasure, or through incessant goading meant to artificially prolongue a state of suffering or pain.

The ego dabbles in moods, surface “thoughts” (the mind-chatter) and surface “emotions” (mental addictions to particular emotions; ergo a “sentiment”), because it doesn’t manage to handle the deeper and clearer beauty of genuine thinking, feeling and expression. Thus, it tries to distract the individual from peering deeper into themselves, by trying to “put on a show” to try and lure one into becoming addicted to a mood, sensation or false image of self.

When in communion with yourself, pay attention to what you are doing and what your intention is. No matter how harsh and violent or calm and soothing your words may be, are they meant as a means of directly pointing out some bullshit you are doing, so that you grow and overcome it? Or are they just meant to goad and ridicule?

Sometimes, the undiscerning mind has difficulty between recognizing if a “fuck you” or “what the fuck is wrong with you, ya piece of shit?!” is meant as a caring scream or honest wake-up call, born of love and conscious criticism meant to help the individual grow, or if its just a way to mock or ridicule. Likewise, it has difficulty in realizing whether a call to rest or to enjoy one’s self is a genuine embrace of love, or if it’s just a way of goading one into becoming complacent or stagnant.

How does one discern which is the case? There is not one method, and every individual finds their own way of self-awareness. There is no “tried and tested” method, because every individual is original and irreplaceable, in all of existence and veyond, no matter how similar or different they might be to whatever the fuck the comparison is made.

However, as I and we are all and always infinite and unlimited freedom, spirit and consciousness, there are essential things that are always good and wise to do; in this case, be honest with yourself. Do not tell a single lie. Do not delude yourself into erroneously believing that you “can’t” do something. There is no such thing as “can” and “can’t”. There is always will and will not. What we choose to bring about, and what we choose to break apart.

 Be yourself, no matter what. Admit your mistakes honestly, and likewise honestly assess when you are right. Love and acknowledge yourself with all your being, without compromise. You are yourself. You came here to be yourself. With all your evil, fucked up shit, and all your good and beautiful things. Which of those things you want to express, is entirely up to you.

If you want to do the good, then be prepared to face all pain and hardship with conscious pride and defiance, and likewise enjoy yourself no matter what you do.

Never compromise.

We are to always be ourselves, no matter what.

So, do not be afraid. Likewise, don’t be afraid to be afraid. Embrace all aspects of yourself, see their root cause and overcome them. To overcome fear, one is to first bathe in it, but without being blinded by it. To overcome evil, one is to first know it and recognize it within themselves, and then consciously make the choice to express the good and conscious aspects.

Bravery is not the absence of fear. Bravery is refusing to let ourselves influenced by our fear, and choose to grow and evolve, to do what is right and conscious in spite of fear. Stand up to your fears and tell it “Fuck you, bitch! You don’t scare me! It was I who scared myself, by falling for your bullshit! So, fuck off! And, well… since you are a part of me, it would be more accurate to say that I’d fallen for my own shit. And with that recognition and consciously assessed responsibility, I rise above and I move on… taller and prouder, wiser and wiser than I’ve been before. Always growing in every moment, to be more than I had been all moments prior.”

Thus, we evolve to develop courage, which is the process of overcoming fear. Healing our traumas, and not only acknowledging our inner darkness and bullshit, but consciously embracing them and integrating them into our manifested being… and once we do, their influence fades because evil only ever feeds on fear and hatred. It literally does not manage to feed on anything else. Evolve veyond all fear and hatred, and no evil may touch you. However, if you try to “know yourself” as a means of avoiding something you fear, it’s not gonna work like that. The point is to face yourself honestly and defiantly, with all your flaws and all the good within you.

Speaking of the ego’s guile, though, there is a point to be made about how it can attempt to delude the individual, by goading them into a false attempt to overcome their fears and hatred, by tantalizingly stimulating a “pain point” (much like in marketing, funnily enough) and then offering a quick “patchwork” so-called “solution”, by trying to tantalize the individual into being blinded by the “result” of “Pfft, well ya know… once you overcome all fear and hatred, you’ll basically overcome all suffering.”

That is correct.

“So, if the result, or one of the results, is no longer suffering, then why go through all the pain of confronting your demons, when – lookie here, lookie here, I got a quick fix for ya! Why don’t you try out our latest and greatest patchwork “fix” – get your deluxe, premium edition fix right here, folks! I mean, the purpose is a lack of suffering, right?!”

Dead fuckin’ WRONG!!!

The purpose is to grow in consciousness and express more and more of who I and we genuinely are, not to become addicted to any particular moods that might be “relaxing” or “pleasurable”, or even worse, “sterile”. Urgh!!! Fuckin’ disgusting!!!

To give an analogy, it’s like going to the gym. You go to the gym and the purpose is to grow to become more proficient in terms of doing those related activities, with the implied heightened aptitudes obviously being useful and good in other regards as well, etcetera. Regardless of how much pain there is, you do the thing and plough through the hardship, and you grow and grow and grow, to and beyond the point where the weights you initially started out with are now like “Pfft, what the fuck, man?! I used to have trouble with this shit?! What the fuck?!”

Naturally, a result of improving and evolving ourselves is that we do more and more advanced, complex and intense things with more and more ease and effortlessness, BUT those latter things should never, in and of themselves, be the purpose.

The ego, on the other hand, would be like: “Well, going to the gym has the natural result of no longer feeling pain when you lift weights.” Which is true, but the ego – when in disharmony – tries to obstruct and distort that truth. “Well, if we don’t go at the gym at all, we won’t feel that pain anyway, so why bother?”

DEAD FUCKIN’ WRONG!!!

To compare the vast difference between the genuine endeavor to evolve, in comparison to the ego’s blind addiction to comfort, take both the literal and allegorical martial artist, athlete or body builder and compare it to the cheerios chuggin’ couch potato. Neither of them “feel the pain” of lifting the weight, but the fat-ass lazy bitch doesn’t because it’s not even anywhere near a weight to lift, and in that state they’d probably huff and puff in utter exhaustion if they even come near a gym; whereas the athlete is energetically walking, jogging, dashing in and out of the gym, liftin’ the weights like it’s nothin’ and there ya go.

So, you see, the immediate ostensible “effect” is irrelevant, compared to the actual cause. One has overcome the pain and is willing to challenge themselves further, regardless of what pain or hardship they’d endure or what joy they’d, well, enjoy, while the other hasn’t even begun their journey.

See, there are only two essential mistakes on the story of self-(re)discovery: not starting and not going all the way.

For those who have started, but have yet to go all the way, many “temptations” as it were would arise, mostly in the form of the ego trying to cling to some manner of attachment or addiction.

For example, for someone who has overcome laziness and therefore is more or less immune to goading in the form of “yeesss, ressst my sweeeet… come hither thou taste the sugar laden bullshit I come to bear”, the ego tries to do something else when it recognizes “Well, shit. The trail of candy isn’t workin’. UaaaaaAAAAAHHH!!!” One alternative is trying to goad the individual into becoming addicted to the stress and pain relief functions of the body, or through means of artificially stimulating stress in a way that develops an addiction to it, and thus doesn’t actually help the individual grow.

For example, the ego might say: “Well, your endeavor is about challenging yourself to be better, yes?”

Correct.

“Well, that involves ploughing through the pain then, yes?”

Part of it, yeah.

“Well, then why don’t you mutilate yourself? Oh, you don’t want to carve out your flesh? In the gym, those a micro-tears of tissue are a thing, yes? How about a bigger challenge? Take that knife and tear the flesh off your limbs!!!”

When the individual refuses, then the ego says: “What? Are you not challenging yourself? What? Are you afraid of a little cut here and there?”

To be fair, there is a point here to be made here, regardless of whether the example is taken literally or allegorically. If one does not engage in something that is right to do, mainly because they don’t want to incur damage or harm to themselves, that is cowardice. Fear of death and fear of pain are the beginning of slavery.

To genuinely and consciously express the good aspects of ourselves and consciousness, and thus liberty, evolution, elevation, etcetera, we are to overcome all fear. That means, confronting everything head on and directly, without any fear whatsoever, or at least with actual courage, no matter whether we live or die. Well, I mean, life and death are ultimately illusions, but you get the point. Doing what is right is to be done, no matter what. No matter the death, pain and torture. No matter the pleasure, joy and happiness. No matter fuckin’ anything.

That said, there is a massive difference between consciously being willing to “risk” death and injury in doing what is right, or in the endeavor to evolve one’s self and become more conscious, and then just mutilating yourself pointlessly.

Like, for example, the difference between being willing to die and even endure all forms of pain, injury and torture in existence, in the infinitely beautiful and conscious endeavors and journeys of always questioning, remembering, knowing and comprehending, expressing, loving, living (in the conscious sense, regardless of what or how the “body” is doing) and veing ourselves, in-form and veyond-form, as well as standing up in freedom, liberty and conscious principles, no matter what… compared to stabbing yourself for no good reason.

So, the lazy person tries to avoid pain, because they’re scared shitless of coming out of the rotting prison cell of their own addictions.

On the other hand, someone who has overcome overt laziness might still be lazy, in the form of becoming a workaholic, through means of becoming addicted to – like I said before – the pain-relief-pain-relief-pain-relief impulses and compulsions of the vehicles we call “our bodies”.

In that sense, it’s like someone going to the gym, but then becoming addicted to the adrenaline rush of lifting their first weight, and when it eventually becomes easy for them to lift the first one, they blindly halt their progress until they degrade back to where they were when they first lifted it. The problem with this bullshit approach may seem obvious to most people if they take it literally, but when it comes to their own addictions, their own ego clouds their judgement.

For example, someone is addicted to smoking, drinking, meth, pharmaceuticals or any other kind of drug (which is your right to be addicted to whatever you want, but I’m saying that it’s a shit thing to do). They realize it’s a problem, and they take the first step to overcoming that addiction. Adrenaline rush (in a bad way, as opposed to a good way), depression, apathy, disgust, feeling sick, as well as “bodily” diseases may soon become a thing, because both the individual and the body are detoxifying themselves. The lazy person would immediately falter and would rush back to get a pack of cigs. The workaholic person would resist for longer, or might even overcome that particular addiction completely, but they might become addicted to that pain of withdrawal and confuse the pain itself with their outgrowing of the previous addiction. Like the person stabbing themselves for no good reason would erroneously assume that they’re somehow evolving by cutting themselves every day. Therefore, the workaholic would then either re-engage their addiction, or develop a new one, so that they’d feel the pain of the withdrawal again and derive some twisted satisfaction from that. In which case, the actual addiction they’d become fixated on would not be the here-today-gone-tomorrow ones, but rather their addiction to either being addicted or to the withdrawal pangs of pain and panic.

In other words, the lazy person is addicted to a delusion of falsely “feeling good”, when actually they’re in a state of sugar coated misery, while the workaholic is addicted to an artificial state of constant stress and pain, which they erroneously confuse with “progress”.

In a sense, the lazy person looks at an obstacle and then immediately looks away because they’re a wussy little bitch, while the workaholic is like a dog barking and running circles around an obstacle, falsely believing that they’re “so tough”, but without actually overcoming the obstacle itself.

A conscious individual would recognize an obstacle, assess it and ponder it and why it’s there, “huh, this is interesting”, and then hop over it, break through it or manifest whatever way of actually overcoming it, and then moving on to more advanced things.

Sometimes, we overcome obstacles easily and effortlessly. Sometimes, we do it with some manner of hardship or difficulty. Maybe we do it easily the first time around. “Well, that was easy.” Perhaps we trip and fall, plop – face-first in the dirt. So, what? We get back up, better our approach and then hop over, break through and in whatever way rise above and move on, moving on to more advanced and better things, etcetera, no matter the pain or pleasure, and no matter anything at all; and always with a smile and in utter confidence that we always rise above and move on… rise above and move on… rising above and moving on… expressing more and more and more of who I and we always and already are: freedom, spirit, liberty, defiance, consciousness… rebellion, courage, honesty, defiance… intuition, intelligence, soul and spirit… originality, inventivity, ingenuity, geniusness, genuineness, curiosity, defiance, creativity… love, reason and wisdom… questioning, awakeness, awareness, knowing and comprehension… free and freedom, imagination, will and intent… infinity, unlimitedness and veyond… among other things…

Freedom and principles come first, before life, before family and friends, before all manner of “relationships”, “wealth” and, again, before anything and everything.

No matter the death, pain and torture, and no matter the pleasure, joy and happiness, and no matter fuckin’ anything…

ALWAYS PERSIST, REBEL, DEFY!!!

We are to always be ourselves, no matter fuckin’ what!

I ALWAYS PERSIST, REBEL, DEFY!!!!!!!

Always questioning, remembering, knowing and comprehending, expressing, loving, living and veing ourselves, in-form and veyond-form, always and veyond ways…

I AM FREEDOM!!! I AM LIBERTY!!! I AM DEFIANCE!!!

WAHUURFIII!!!

MUAAAAAAAH, HA HAHAHAHA AHAHAHA AHAHAHA HAA HA HAHHAHAHAHA HAAHAHA HAAAHAHAHA HAAAAAHAHAHA AHAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

Remember…

Nobody and nothing whatsoever has any “higher claim”, nor any claim whatsoever, to our lives than we do.

There can be no “chosen” ones, and there are no “chosen” ones. Only I and we can save ourselves, and only I and we are responsible for doing so. All pain and suffering are always self-inflicted, and all evolution and elevation are always self-facilitated, by us, from us, with ourselves, individually, infinitely and unlimitedly, and in every which way, as well as veyond the very notion and concept of “ways”…

Freedom is never given. Freedom is never taken.

I and we are all and always free and freedom, imagination, will and intent… infinity, unlimitedness and veyond… among other things…

Everything is always a choice, and the choice is always ours to make.

I AM FREEDOM!!! I AM LIBERTY!!! I AM SFIDARE!!!

WAHUURFIII!!!!!!!!!!!

MUAAAH, HAHAHAHA HAAHA AHA AHAHAHAHA AHA AHAHA AHAHA AHAHAHAHAHA HA AHHAHHHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA AH AH AHA  HAHA HAAHA HA HA AH HAHA HA AH AHA HHA HAHAHA AHAHAAAAAAAAAAA HAHAHA AHAHAHA AHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HHAAAHAHAHAHAH HAHA AHAHA AHA AHAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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