What is confidence? That vibe of strength? That air of flair and playfulness? That firm, independent allure? Well, for one, confidence itself is none of that. Those are natural effects of being confident in one’s self; outer projections of one’s inner image and appreciation of themselves.
That is what confidence is: an expression of one’s deep and profound love and respect for one’s self. Whether the outward expression of that is more serious or playful, wild or calculated, more warm or cold, suave or firm, etcetera, it’s all a variation of one’s individuality and personality.
Regardless of all of those variables, there are core principles and traits that all who are confident in themselves tend to express.
- We love and respect ourselves
Whether this comes from spiritual comprehension and a remembrance of who we are beyond the illusion of the story-world, as I call it (i.e. manifested reality), an appreciation of one’s own individuality, or preferably both, we always love and respect ourselves.
That love and respect doesn’t come from one’s perceived achievements, though. I mean, that would be just appreciating the external accomplishments or qualities you exhibit, instead of actually appreciating yourself. If you’ve ever genuinely loved someone, you’ve loved them for who they are; not for how they look, not for the sex, not for their accomplishments. No, you’ve loved them (or are loving them) for who they are, and you’ll know that the rest is a natural by-product of that.
That kind of profound love for someone only occurs when the one who loves has that kind of love for one’s self. Because the so-called “inner world” creates the so-called “outer world”, and only when we love ourselves unconditionally and profoundly, shall we express that kind of love towards another.
We love and respect ourselves, first and foremost, because we are. Naturally, that inner abundance will create abundance in the world as well, in all the things that actually matter.
- We feel passionately, yet we do not form attachments
When we love ourselves, we respect our own freedom. Likewise, we also respect others’ freedom. We appreciate the time we spend with everyone we meet, no matter how short or long, and can easily let them go. We might miss some of the people we’ve held dear, but instead of sobbing over their loss, our tears will be of happiness, filled with the memories of the time we shared, as well as everything we’ve all learned from being together.
All while keeping our chest high and gaze up towards, as well as beyond the sky, moving on to our next adventures.
- We think about our mistakes, but don’t worry about them
We ponder our mistakes and how likely we are to do them again, but rarely or never in the form of worry. In other words, our approach is never one of “oh noes, we made a mistake” and then have the shitty attitudes of either “grrrh fuhkin grah” or “boo hoo” about it.
Rather, we acknowledge our mistakes and look at them with an attitude of “Huh, well that was pretty fucked.”, but saying it with a shrug and a smug, confident smile, before asking ourselves “Okay, what is there to learn from this?”
We use our mistakes as opportunities to better ourselves. All obstacles are made to be overcome.
- We appreciate our qualities, but don’t gloat about them
Likewise, we are quick to acknowledge our positives, and just as easily admit them to others, but never as a means of gloating or bragging. Rather, we give examples of ourselves and something good that we did, either to illustrate a point in a conversation, talk about how we’ve overcome a hardship in our lives and what good we’re doing in whatever regard, so that others might consider and learn from both our mistakes, as well as our knowledge, skills, accomplishments, etc.
- We are quick to both acknowledge the qualities of others, as well as call them out on their bullshit
Since we know how to both appreciate and constructively criticise ourselves, we naturally tend to fully acknowledge the good and the bad in other people, as well.
- We know that we are both student and teacher, to everyone we meet
In other words, we know that there is always more to know than we might think we know, at any point. Since every individual is unique and has something to share, we are open to both helping others grow, as well as learn from others’ experiences.
Of course, judging everything by ourselves and making our own discernments. Speaking of which…
- We judge everything on its own merit, not by popularity or “general consensus”
We know it doesn’t matter how few or how many, who says or who saysn’t, who does or who doesn’t… in other words, we are as we are by virtue of ourselves, not by who or how many believe us to be in whatever way. Likewise with everyone and with all information.
If you’ve murdered someone, but everyone believes you’re innocent, you’ve still murdered someone. Likewise, if you haven’t murdered someone, but everyone believes you did, you still haven’t murdered anyone.
Belief only changes one’s personal reality distortion field, in the sense of what they – as a person – attract in their incarnate experience. Since belief, in-and-of-itself as an approach to information (no matter how accurate or inaccurate it may be), is based on ignorance and sentiment, its influence on reality is going to be stunted.
Imagination, will, intent, knowledge, comprehension and other more advanced things, are what create, change and influence reality in more conscious and intricate ways. All of these things and more, are what we always have and are, as consciousness and potential.
- We always keep moving, doing what we know is right, no matter what
Likewise, we don’t flip our shit when things don’t go exactly as we planned or desired.
“Fuck, I overslept and missed my plane. I’m in a foreign country, my luggage… fuck, I left it in the cab! No problem, I’ll call and – well, shit! Battery’s dead.” He wanders around, pondering what to do, before seeing a girl sitting on a bench, looking to be in a similar position. “Well, lookie here.” He goes and talks to her, they hang out and have a good time. Now, they have three kids and are happily living together.
Every experience is as good or as bad as we make it. No matter how smooth or how fucked up an experience might be, we are always the ones who create it and we are always the ones responsible for what we do with it.
Always proud, strong and defiant. Playful teasing and mysterious. Conscious, confident and fearless.
We are all and always free and freedom, imagination, will and intent… infinity, unlimitedness and veyond… among other things…
What we choose to manifest is always a choice; and the choice is always ours to make.